Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Time Heals!

They tell me time heals - and I know they are right! I have healed  - a lot! Spending time in Mom's home over Christmas was very healing for me.  Seeing her little things scattered around her house, her beloved Christmas tree blinking in the sunlight with decorations as old as I am! Her favourite bone-china coffee cups lovingly displayed on shelves in a busy kitchen. And pictures of us as kids, looking gangly, with old fashioned hair styles and big teeth that we hadn't grown into! Pictures that Mom loved, reminding her of happy days when we were all growing up together!

That's all she wanted really! Never one for materialistic stuff - never wanting fancy outfits and expensive perfumes! Happy always to settle for second best, with then smell of floury scones filling her little home!

I don't want to have a birthday without her. I worry that there is no-one around to remind my brothers and how will  feel if they forget? I worry that it might slip Dad's mind - he has enough on it already without worrying about remembering that I am turning another year older! Mom was always there - and now she's not! I will go to the cemetery and share some flowers with her.  I will tell her how much I miss her and I wish, just one more time, I could hear her voice. I will look at her old card and journals, and see that familiar script, preserved in ink forever.  I will be reminded of her prayers that have always followed me!

I know she is with me always. In the chirping of the birds that she loved to watch .. in the warmth of the woolen scarf she kept around her shoulders and in the legacy she left in my daughter who loves and  cares so much!

I love you Mommy! Always and forever!

9 comments:

Avril said...

Oh Janet, your Mom is with you today and always ... huge hugs to you .. especially today being your birthday x x x

Firefly said...

Its a good thing that the little things remind you of her. Its so you never will forget. There was something of my dad that I forgot till I woke up with a start one night cause I heard his voice and what I forgot came back to me. Just that reminder.

Blue Baron said...

I hope you find lots of special memories in your daily routine - which will remind you of her. I'm sure those birdsongs and special things will fill your heart. Big Hugs.
M

Rebecca Louise. said...

I love how the little things remind you so much of a person. It's so heart warming and nostalgic! :)

Riley Kai said...

So glad to hear you are healing. It's a long journey and one that I don't know ends until we are all reunited one day. Your words put such a lump in my throat. Almost as if I had written them myself. I think of you often and continue to pray that you find peace in all of this!

Corey~living and loving said...

hugs, Janet. what a beautiful post!

Marcelle said...

Big Hug....beautiful tribute and memory.

Judy said...

love, hugs, blessings, prayers, thoughts flow and surround you from little part of the world to yours. Judyxx

PAM said...

What lovely words remembering your mom. I feel like I was right there with you.