Saturday, February 12, 2011

Blog Secret!

My sweet blogging buddy Rebecca invited me to take part in the Blog Secret challenge being hosted by Holly! It sounded like a lot of fun and I am quite excited to be a part of this fun event!  The secret post below is not mine, but that of a secret blogger.  My secret will appear on someone else's blog - you will find the list of participants here! I welcome this Secret Blogger to my world ....

"I don’t think I’m fat. I’m okay with my current weight. But I’m ashamed because I feel like I disappointed my parents.

My mom is obese. She started out like a stick. She told me when I was younger that my metabolism would slow like hers when I got older. I didn’t particularly care.

My father told me once that he wished he would have known my mom would get fat when he married her. I don’t know if this would have changed his mind about marrying her—I don’t think so—but he said he was disappointed she was fat. He also tried to get me to exercise while younger. I resisted.

When I turned 18, I weighed 115lb. Several years later, I weigh 165. I don’t like being fat, but I’m okay with it. I’m actually healthier than when I was 18 because I’m more active and eat (somewhat) better. The weight is mostly just THERE.

My father, on the other hand, has made snide remarks about how I’m fat for years. He still is under the impression that I lead a sedentary and nutritionally-bereft lifestyle, and will take any opportunity to mention my new poundage.

So my secret is, even though I pretend not to care, I am deeply guilty that I have disappointed my father. Every time I look in the mirror I think about how disgusted he must be with me."


A Daft Scots Lass said...

thats pretty sad...imagine feeling guilty and disappointed with yourself everyday! so much self-hatred.

PAM said...

I think Dad should tell his daughter that she is beautiful and perfect just the way she is. He probably doesn't even know how hurtful he is least I hope not.

Lissy said...

that's terrible! it really sounds like your parents have issues, especially your dad

all that really matters is how you feel about yourself.